


Parks and Recreation

by dyingpoet



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Not Canon Compliant, but also like kind of nice, connor murphy/evan hansen toward the end, fuckin bonding yknow??, like they're in the park and just fuckin sad, pretty angsty, you gotta squint a bit but its there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13200729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyingpoet/pseuds/dyingpoet
Summary: Evan needs to get out of his house and he stumbles upon a fairly drunk Connor Murphy at a playground at 3 o'clock in the morning





	Parks and Recreation

It's late. Like, really late.

That's the first thing Evan Hansen thinks when he wakes up from probably one of his worst in a series of nightmares that had been happening all this week. His doctor told him that they might be a side effect of the new anxiety medication he was on, so he wasn't really worried, more just overwhelmed with an earth-shattering fear that had manifested in the nightmare and was just plain refusing to go away. The dream was already becoming foggy but from what he could remember it was  _bad_. Awful, actually. Something to do with the woods and just so much screaming and the last picture he could dig up from it was that just darkness and fear and for the life of him he couldn't remember what he was scared of which somehow made it so much  _worse._

And unfortunately that's the exact position he found himself in when he woke up. At 3 in the morning on a Thursday night, or Friday morning maybe? It didn't matter either way because he needed to be sleeping and not just sitting there  _freaking out_ over something that he couldn't even remember, but he couldn't stop. He could already feel himself getting worked up over the fact that he was still terrified and in 5 hours he would have to be at school and if he didn't go to sleep now he would fall asleep in homeroom and everyonewouldbelookingathim-

Fuck he really needed to calm down.

So he decided that maybe his room wasn't the best place to be in right now, as it just served to remind him of that awful dream, and he really had the sudden need to get out of his house and into an open space where he could breathe. So, he stumbled out of his bed, and with shaking hands he turned on his closet light and grabbed an old pair of sweats and a faded blue hoodie and crept into the hallway.

He really didn't want to wake his mom, she had just gotten back from a late-shift around one, and he knew that if she found him in this state she wouldn't get any sleep and he would feel so bad for doing that to her. So as quietly as he could manage he grabbed his shoes, slipped them on, opened the front door, and stepped out into the crisp October night. 

He never really went out at night, finding the darkness to be unsettling, but tonight the fresh air and quiet streets were really helping to calm him down. His uneven breathing was starting to steady just the slightest bit, and while his hands were still shaking, he felt less like his legs were about to give out. He decided that trying to remember parts of his dream were going to make him worse, so instead of doing that he decided that he wanted to walk somewhere that reminded him of happy times, like when he was little. Before his dad left, he would always go with his mom and dad to the playground down the street. There was a sandbox where he would fill his trucks with sand and pretend he was a construction worker, which his mom would constantly remind him was his dream job when he was little.

It was only about a block away so he set out, walking with his hands shoved deep into his pockets to keep them warm. It was early October but it was already starting to get too cold for his taste. The trees on the side of the road had started to change colors a bit, and while he loved the way they looked, it just meant that in a few short months they would be completely barren, which depressed him a bit if he was totally honest.

He was still rather anxious from his dream though, and was walking faster than he normally would, so he arrived at the park quicker than he thought. 

There were three things right off the bat that he noticed.

One, playgrounds at night were actually a lot creepier than he had expected. It was like the sun took every bit of happiness and joy with it when it set every night.

Two, there was definitely someone else in the park with him, he could hear someone mumbling softly to themselves on the swing-set. The guy had a bottle in his hands and was definitely drunk

Three, that kid was Connor Murphy. Resident outcast and just scary guy in general (he didn't think he was going to shoot up the school or anything like everyone else, but the kid gave off an aggressive attitude most of the time).

And if he was being completely honest with himself, if Connor hadn't looked up and saw him, he would have turned around and gone straight home no questions asked. But, as the world seemed to have it out for him tonight, Connor did look up, and he must have been pretty drunk because he started up pretty damn fast, almost fell of the swing actually. He lifted his head, and Evan was pretty far away but even from where he was Connor looked sad, like the kind of sad that makes you want to get wasted at a park at 3am on a Thursday.

As expected, his anxiety came back at him like a freight train, because all the sudden he realized how stupid it was to be out this late and what if his mom woke up and saw he wasn't there, and oh god Connor was starting to say something fuckfuckfuck.

"E-van Hanssen?" He slurred from across the park, squinting a bit from the darkness and the alcohol.

"Y-yeah?" He said quietly, taking a step forward an getting halfway through another before stopping because he really had no idea what a drunken Connor was like, or a sober Connor for that matter, and he didn't know if he wanted to find out.

"C'mere mann, come see this fuckin' graveyard," he shouted, gesturing for Evan to come and join him on the swings. 

Evan starting walking up, mostly because he was afraid to not, and he quickly wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans before he sat and tried to not make it too obvious that his legs were shaking and his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He felt like maybe the darkened playground had some sort of hallucinatory effect on him because there was no  _way_ that this was really happening. He looked over at Connor to see that he had started swinging, which was actually pretty impressive considering the kid was smashed.

"See look ova' there," he said, pointing to his old sandbox with a clumsy hand, "That's were they-hic-bury all the mess'd up kids like uss." He started dragging his feet on the ground after he said that to try and stop swinging, but just managed to catch his foot in the dirt and fall forward, landing with a groan mixed with a laugh.

Evan, who had been paying rapt attention, jolted in surprise, nearly tripping over his own feet as he scrambled to see if Connor was okay. He was, it turned out, as he rolled over onto his back with his face turned toward Evan and was laughing pretty hysterically.

"Are you, um shit, are you okay?" Evan asked uncertainly, he didn't really have any experience with drunk people, his mom never had more than the occasional glass of wine and if hi father drank he didn't remember it. He was also starting to get physically uncomfortable, as the cold air mixed with him sweating was starting to make his sweatshirt stick to him and he could feel himself shivering.

"Ha! Who is?" Connor laughed out, starting to get over his fit. He opened his eyes to meet Evan, and first off god _damn_ did he look drunk. His eyes were unfocused, and also looked sort of concerned? Something that Evan Hansen never though he would describe Connor Murphy as; frustrated, desperate maybe, but never concerned. "Fuck man, whadda 'bout you? You look like shit," he said flatly, clearly looking for an actual answer that Evan had no idea how to provide.

"W-well, I mean, yea. I just came here because I was a little freaked out and y'know what it doesn't really matter because youdontreallyneedtoworryaboutmeand-"

"Wo-ah dude," Connor cut him off before he could finish his rant, "You gotta calm down, I'm not gonna bite ya."

Evan laughed a bit at that as a reflex to try and ease the tension, but in reality he was still freaked out. Connor was actually being decent to him, granted he was drunk off his ass, but still, this was new.

"Are you cold man?" Connor asked, "You're shivering."

Evan hadn't really noticed that the shivering had started up again but it had, his teeth were starting to clatter together and he really wished that he had brought himself an extra jacket, or really brought anything, he hadn't even remembered his phone when he stumbled out of his house.

So, he jerkily nodded in response to Connor, who had at this point struggled into a sitting position next to Evan, and was currently tugging at the sleeves of his own jacket to try and get it off.

"Oh no you really don't have t-" Evan started.

"Just-hic-take it, it's not a biig deal," Connor drawled, looking like he was trying to adjust to sitting up.

Evan accepted the jacket that Connor held on and stuttered out a quick thanks before putting it on, feeling much better not that the breeze wasn't cutting through him so much. He didn't really know what to say after that, Connor was looking at him like he wanted to say something, so Evan didn't talk for fear of accidentally cutting him off.

Finally, after a minute or so of silence, Connor spoke. "You know I'm not gonna like, murder you or anything right Evan?"

Evan found himself startled by the question, partly because he didn't know how to respond, and partly because Connor Murphy had said his name and it sounded so soft when it left his lips.

"Yeah of course-I mean yeah I don't think you're like a serial killer like some kids at school do, not that people say that because Idontreallygossipbecauseitsusuallynotrightanyways," Evan choked out, his nervousness coming back when he thought that Connor might think that Evan knew that kids said that about him, because he himself said that, and he really didn't. He had always been sort of scared of Connor, he was sort of scared of everybody, but he never thought badly of him like Jared did sometimes.

Connor had stared at him the whole length of his little rant, and he didn't even look angry like Evan feared he would. He almost looked amused, not even in a mocking way, just like they were friends and Evan had said something really funny but didn't quite realize it yet.

"Nahh, I never really thought you one to talk shit," Connor said, voice wavering slightly from the booze, "You're nervous as fuck, but at least you're not a dick like most of the kids at our school." His voice hardened after he said that, and Evan was trying really hard to keep this whole situation as light as possible because he was in a park, alone with a drunk kid at what had to be at least 3:45 by now. 

"Thanks," he mumbled in response, really unsure about where this whole thing was going, and he was starting to get really nervous about the time because if he didn't get at least an hour of sleep he would be ruined for the whole day. And he was nervous about what would happen at school tomorrow if he saw Connor, there was a chance that he wouldn't remember any of this; Evan had spotted the bottle he was drinking on the swings at it was whiskey, the kind of stuff that seemed like it could knock you out pretty good.

Evan was snapped out of his train of thought when Connor tried to stand up and tripped, falling down on top of Evan, who let out a wince as his own head slammed against the hard dirt.

"O-oh fuck I'm sorry," Connor stuttered out, sounding genuinely apologetic as he got off of Evan and put about a foot of distance between them. He was now looking down at the dirt, playing with the dead grass they were sitting on.

"Um it's okay," Evan offered, reaching out awkwardly to pat at Connor's shoulder, genuinely surprised when Connor leaned into his touch, almost seeming to crave it. 

"M-maybe we should go? Back to your house I mean, you might g-get, um, sick staying out here," Evan said, really worried now that he might have to carry Connor back to wherever he lived, and what would he even do when they got there? Knock on the door, hand Connor's parents their drunk son and walk away? It was 3 in the morning for god's sake, they would probably call the police.

"Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea," Connor said softly, looking up at Evan, seeming disappointed at having to leave. He tried to stand up again, this time taking it much more slowly, and managing to get into a standing position just as Evan got up himself.

Wordlessly, Connor slung an arm over Evan's shoulder and balanced against his side, he started toward the path that served as the entrance to the park, forgetting about the whiskey, much to Evan's relief, he didn't think he needed anymore. 

As they started walking, Evan following Connor's suddenly sleepy sounding directions back to his house, he really started thinking about Connor. Seeing someone drunk and open really brought them into a new light, a much softer and approachable light if you asked Evan. He was still slightly shaky because he had a drunk boy leaning against him, but he had actually calmed down around Connor, his quiet and ironically muted disposition had stabilized him a lot actually. 

Just as Evan was thinking about Connor in this new way, Connor, who had been relatively quiet while they were walking, cleared his throat and turned his head, basically inches from Evan's face. 

"Do you, uh, think that maybe we could hang out sometime?" he asked, sounding so small and lonely in that moment that he could have been holding a bloody knife and Evan probably would have agreed. 

"Yeah! I mean, um, yes, totally, that sounds cool," Evan replied, trying to keep the note of surprise and even happiness out of his voice as they arrived at what was presumably Connor's house. 

Connor smiled a bit at that, something that looked rather good to the boy who was carrying him at the moment, and laughed a bit to himself as he transferred from leaning against Evan to leaning against his front door.

"Um well great," he raked a hand through his now ridiculously messy hair, "See you at school in like, shit, like 4 hours I guess?" 

"Yea, I'll s-see you then," Evan stuttered, the reality of the night hitting him at once as Connor opened his front door and stumbled inside, leaving him with his jacket and a sliver of hope that tomorrow, just maybe, he would have a good day for once.

And he did.

**Author's Note:**

> The end!!! Lol its late af and I really wanted to write this so hope you enjoy it kids <3


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